★ Little Sunshine's Wonderland ★

: Uh, hi there Diane. Nah, okay. Uh . . . Hi, what's up, Di? Okay, here we go. . .

[doorbell ringing ]

Diane: Uh, hi. It's David, right?

Doug: No, Doug. Remember? We met at Gary's party last Friday night.

Diane: Oh, yeah. Now I remember. You were standing all alone . . . uh, oh, I . . . I mean . . . I mean, you . . . you know. We started talking about school and stuff. [Yeah, yeah.]. Uh, how did you know I lived here?

Doug: Well, I just live around the corner, and I asked Gary if he knew how I could contact you, and . . .

Diane: And?

Doug: Well, I was just wondering if you'd like to go out this Thursday night. [Oh.]. Well, there's this real great movie playing downtown at the theater, [Uh . . .] and I thought . . . Well . . . well, we can't use my car 'cause I was in an accident with this wild man driving this BMW, so I've already checked the bus schedule, and . . .

Diane: Uh-hem [Well], Well, David [No Doug! Remember?] Oh yeah.

Doug. I'm sorry, but I have to work that evening.

Doug: Oh really? Well, I thought you said before that you quit your job.

Diane: Well, I did, but I found a new one.

Doug: Uh, well, how about this Friday night? We could have dinner and then see that movie.

Diane: A movie? How boring!

Doug: Well, well, uh, well. A movie? Yeah, for . . . forget a movie.

Diane: Anyway, I'm afraid I have to cook dinner for my family, and . . .

Doug: Hey, I love to cook. We could whip something up together! I mean, it would be great!

Diane: I don't think that's a good idea. It's just a family occasion and . . .

Doug: Well, hey, are you free this Saturday night? I have two tickets to the football game, and I thought . . .

Diane: Sure. I'd love to go. [Okay!] I've wanted to see a game all year. [Yeah!] My roommate will be so suprised when she finds out I have a ticket for her, and . . .

Doug: Well, but . . .

Diane: Oh [car screetching . . . ] . . . and here's my brother! He's a defensive lineman on the team.

Doug: Well, he doesn't look too happy.

Diane: Ah, he's a teddy bear, but hasn't been the same since someone ran into his BMW.

Doug: Oh. Let me guess. Red, right?

Diane: Right. [Oh] And, it's just that he's a little protective of me since I am his baby sister.

Doug: Hey, well, it's been really nice talking to you, but I have to run. Hey. Here are the tickets. Have a great time and, by the way, can I go out your back door?

Vocabulary,

• whip something up (verb): prepare quickly
  - Let's whip something up for tonight's party. A few games and some snacks should be fine.

• lineman (noun): a player in the front line of a team
  One of the lineman from their team is very big, but quick, on the field.

• "one in a million" = the very best
  - "She is definitely one in a million, and I don't think you'll find a better person to marry."

• "go steady" = date someone regularly
  - "They have been going steady for about a year."

: Yes, I'd like to report a theft.

Police Officer: Okay. Can you tell me exactly what happened.

Man: Well, I was walking home from work two days ago, enjoying the nature all around me . . . the birds, the frogs, the flowing stream . . . [Okay, Okay] when this woman knocked me right off my feet, grabbed my stuff, and ran off through the trees. [Hmm]. I was so surprised by the ordeal that I didn't go after her.

Police Officer: Yeah. Can you describe the woman for me?

Man: Yeah. He was about a hundred and ninety centimeters tall . . .

Police Officer: Wait. You said a woman robbed you.

Man: Well, I'm not really sure. [Hmm]. You see, the person was wearing a white and black polka dot dress, a light red sweater over it, and she . . . or he . . . was wearing a pair of basketball shoes.

Police Officer: Humm. What else can you tell me?

Man: Okay. Like I said, the person was about 190 centimeters tall, heavy build, with long wavy hair. She . . . or he . . . was probably in his or her late 30's. I didn't get a good look at the person's face, but well ... uh ....

Police Officer: What? Was there something else?

Man: Well, the person . . . had a beard.

Police Officer: Ah! What was, uh, taken . . . exactly?

Man: Well, just my left shoe. Bizarre, isn't it?

Police Officer: Ah. The "bearded woman" has struck again!

Man: The "bearded woman"?

Police Officer: Yeah. It's this man who dresses up like a woman and, for some unknown reason, removes the left shoe from his victims. He's really quite harmless, though, and he usually returns the shoe to the crime scene a couple of days later.

Man: Hey, he can keep my shoe, and I'll just take off my left shoe every time I walk through the park.

IDIOMS,

• "eat humble pie" = be humiliated or forced to be humble
  - "The theft had to eat humble pie when he attacked my wife, and she beat him up using some karate moves."

• "lay a finger on" = touch with the intent to do harm or do something you shouldn't
  - "Don't even think about laying a finger on my french fries. They're all mine."