★ Little Sunshine's Wonderland ★

: Hi. How can we help you today?

Customer: Yeah. I'd like to get my hair trimmed a little. Nothing fancy. Just a basic trim.

Beautician: Well, can we interest you in today's special?

Customer: Um . . . No . . .

Beautician: We'll shampoo, cut, and style your hair for one unbelievable low price of $9.99 (nine ninety-nine). Plus, we'll give you a clean shave and a back massage to help you relax.

Customer: We'll I don't know. I don't have much time, and . ..

Beautician: Best service in town!

Customer: Okay, I'll have the complete service today, but as I said before, I just want to get my hair trimmed. A little off the top and sides. That's all. I mean, that's all.

Beautician: No problem. Relax. You're in good hands. Okay, here we go. Now, how does this work?

Customer: Huh? Wait. You know what you're doing, right?

Beautician: Relax, sir, relax. I've been doing this for ten [cough] [Ten what?] Sit back and relax. So, what do you do for a living?

Customer: I'm a lawyer, specializing in workplace accidents, and I'm in town for an interview for a new job, and . . .

Beautician: Oops.

Customer: What do you mean oops. Hey, can I see a mirror?

Beautician: Nothing to worry about, sir. Relax. I'm just making some adjustments to the hair trimmer. There we are. Okay . . .

Customer: Ouch. That hurt. What are you doing?

Beautician: Nothing to worry about, sir. Relax.

Customer: That's what you just said a minute ago, and look at all of my hair on the floor. How much are you really cutting off? And where's a mirror?

Beautician: Oh. And time for the shampoo. Just lean back, and we'll wash your hair away.

Customer: You mean what's left of it?

Beautician: Relax. [Your favorite word . . .] Relax.

Customer: Hey, you got shampoo in my eyes. I can't see.

Beautician: Relax, sir, relax. I'm almost finished.

Customer: Yeah, just wait til I get finished with you!

Beautician: Okay, now let's dry your hair, put a little styling jell in it, and now style it with a blow dryer, and brush. voila!

Customer: Hey, what happened to my hair? You butchered it! And what's left of my hair turned purple. What kind of prank are you trying to pull here? Are you even a licensed beautician?

Beautician: Well, sir. We offer a money-back guarantee on all our work, so if you're not completely satisfied . . .

Customer: Satisfied? I'm anything but satisfied. I want to talk to the manager . . . now!

Beautician: I'm sorry, but he's on vacation, and he left me in charge, so if you . . .

Customer: How in the world am I supposed to go to a job interview looking like this? Forget it, forget it. Is there anyplace in this town that can give a decent haircut and fix the damage?

Beautician: Well, my brother works next door, and he offers a complete package for . . . .

Customer: I know, nine, ninety-nine. I've had it. Forget I even asked.

Vocabulary,

• trim (verb): cut just a little off
  - He got his hair trimmed yesterday at a beauty salon.

• fancy (adjective): not plain, elaborate
  - She has a real fancy perm.

• massage (noun): the action of rubbing parts of the body to help with relaxation (also a verb)
  - Some beauty salons give you a shoulder massage after they cut your hair.

• Huh? (interjection): What?, showing slight surprise
  - Huh? Did you say $50 for a simple hair cut?

• adjustments (noun): small changes or modifications
  - Please wait a minute. I need to make a few adjustments to the equipment before we begin.

• lean back (also lean forward) (verb): to move the body backwards and down, recline
  - Don't lean back too far in your chair, or you'll tip it over.

• voila (interjection): an expression to indicate satisfied completion
  - Finally, you should bake the cake for 20 minutes, and voila, you've made your first cake.

• butcher (verb): to kill, and in this case, to cut without care
  - My brother tried to cut his own hair with school scissors and without a mirror, and he really butchered it badly.

• in charge (adjective): in control
  - She is in charge of the new project.

• decent (adjective): nice, acceptable, proper
  - The students did a decent job on the class presentation.

• attorney (noun): lawyer
  - He is an attorney.

• "second-rate" = poor quality
  - "If you go to a second-rate hair salon, you might end up with a second-rate hair cut."

• "hit the roof" = become very angry
  - "Tim hit the roof when he realized the hair stylist dyed his hair red."