★ Little Sunshine's Wonderland ★

: Hello. 24th Precinct. Officer Jones speaking.

Man: Help. Yeah, uh, it was wild, I mean really bizarre.

Police Officer: Calm down sir! Now, what do you want to report?

Man: Well, I'd like to report a UFO sighting.

Police Officer: A what?

Man: What do you mean "what?" An unidentified flying object!

Police Officer: Wait, tell me exactly what you saw.

Man: Well, I was driving home from a party about three hours ago, so it was about 2:00 AM, when I saw this bright light overhead.

Police Officer: Okay. And then what happened?

Man: Oh, man. Well, it was out of this world. I stopped to watch the light when it disappeared behind a hill about a kilometer ahead of me.

Police Officer: Alright. Then what?

Man: Well, I got back in my car and I started driving toward where the UFO landed.

Police Officer: Now, how do you know it was a UFO? Perhaps you only saw the lights of an airplane [No], or the headlights of an approaching car [No]. Things like that happen, you know.

Man: Well if it was that, how do you explain "the BEAST"?

Police Officer: What do you mean, "the BEAST"?

Man: Okay. I kept driving for about five minutes when all of a sudden, this giant, hairy creature jumped out in front of my car.

Police Officer: Oh, yeah.Then what?

Man: Well, then, the beast picked up the front of my car and said, "Get out of the car. I'm taking you to my master!" Something like that.

Police Officer: Wow? A hairy alien who can speak English! Come on!

Man: I'm not making this up, if that's what you're suggesting. Then, when I didn't get out of the car, the beast opened the car door, carried me on his shoulders to this round-shaped flying saucer, and well, that's when I woke up along side the road. The beast must have knocked me out and left me there.

Police Officer: Well, that's the best story I've heard all night, sir. Now, have you been taking any medication, drugs, or alcohol in the last 24 hours? You mentioned you went to a party.

Man: What? Well, I did have a few beers, but I'm telling the truth.

Police Officer: Okay, okay. We have a great therapist that deals with THESE kinds of cases.

Man: I'm not crazy.

Police Officer: Well, we'll look into your story. Thank you.

• precinct: the office of a police department in a particular area
  - Let's go down to the police precinct and report the burglary.

• bizarre: strange or unusual
  - That's the most bizarre story I've ever heard.

• unidentified: unknown or impossible to determine the origin
  - The police were able to capture the criminal through an unidentified source.

• out of this world: unbelievable, incredible
  - You have to see his enormous house. It's out of this world.

• approaching: coming closer
  - Citizens have been urged to flee the area because of the approaching hurricane.

• "stretch the truth" = exaggerate the truth

•  - "My brother said he saw an alien, but he sometimes stretches the truth. It probably was just a bear."

• "cool as a cucumber" = very relax and at ease

•   - "The captain was cool as a cucumber when aliens boarded our ship."